Snippets
by FRC Coazze
Summary: A series of one-shots with Severus Snape as main character interacting with Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall and others. There's no leading thread, they're just... snippets.
1. How to identify with a Devil's Snare

_Hey! I don't know what to say to introduce this series of one-shots. They're just little things I came up with or old things forgotten among the documents in my pc which I decided to fix up and publish. They don't truly have a plot, most of them are slice of life or something of that kind... I don't even know myself! :)_

_Hope you enjoy, though!_

_I don't own Harry Potter and I'm not a native English speaker._

* * *

**How to identify with a Devil's Snare**

Severus Snape put his empty cup of tea on the table in front of him. He glanced quickly to the other two persons present that afternoon in the staffroom: Pomona Sprout and Rolanda Hooch. The one absorbed in reading and marking essays, the other sipping slowly her tea while eyeing the titles of _Which Broomstick_.

Good, maybe he could get a good escape without them noticing, Severus thought. He stood up heavily and walked toward the door, determined to slip down to his dungeons as soon as possible.

"Severus?" A voice behind him stopped his stride. _Oh, great!_ "Severus, you don't want to go into hiding down in the dungeons, do you! Not with that beautiful sun shining out there!"

Severus slowly turned around to face Professor Sprout who had put down her quill and was now looking at him with a big smile on her round face.

"I'm not a plant, Pomona", he said coldly.

The other professor smiled sweetly. "Oh, I know", she said, standing up and moving close to her colleague, "but it happens that even the rude Potions teachers are in need of a bit of sunlight, every now and then".

Snape raised an eyebrow, piqued. He saw Rolanda Hooch was following their conversation but acted as nothing was happening. Her eyes were still on the magazine, but did not move.

"And what for?" He snarled back at Pomona. "I don't have to do photosynthesis. Why don't you just go to sing lullabies to your Mandrakes and leave me in peace? Thanks". He abruptly turned to leave, but Sprout held him back.

"Oh, Severus, cheer up!" She exclaimed and trotted around to put herself between him and the door. "The Mandrakes you mention are more dynamic than you, and do have a better complexion."

"And since when, pray tell, do you care about my complexion?" Severus harrumphed seeing his way out blocked and himself forced to deal with the jolly as insufferable colleague. Damned Hufflepuffs... always worrying about others, always ready to dispense compassion and optimism. Always meddling where they were not welcomed.

"You're always holed up in those damp and dark dungeons of yours... darkness's not good for you and moistness either. Sun. Sun's what you need", explained Professor Sprout analyzing Severus' face with inquisitive eyes.

"Looking for signs of etiolation, Pomona?" Severus hissed, annoyed by the way Sprout was inspecting him.

The Herbology Professor narrowed her eyes. "Etiolation? You know that similar symptoms may be warning signs of _Contabesca learda_ in Venomous Tentacula?", she declared.

Severus looked annoyed and confused at the same time. Had he turned into a plant that night? Yet he had led his lessons as usual, had lunch in the Great Hall as usual, and so on... and no one had pointed out leaves growing from his ears, nor the greenish hue his skin had taken. Albeit this last thing actually happened to him whenever he had to mark Potter and Weasley's essays.

"Well, for clemency and fortune I am not a Tentacula," replied Severus finally, folding his arms over his chest.

"He's much worse..." he heard the barely whispered comment, between a sip of tea and the next, of Rolanda Hooch.

Severus arched an eyebrow dangerously and cast her a fierce look, but Pomona seemed not having heard the caustic comment of her colleague and smiled jovially at Severus.

"Promise me you'll make at least a walk in the sun, Severus" she said cheerfully.

The only answer she received was an irritated grunt.

"Honestly, Pomona, you have no other names on the list of "who to annoy today"? Minerva... the Headmaster... Neville Longbottom?", he pronounce the last name as he was talking about a poisonous snake.

Pomona scolded him: "The ones you mention are not in need of my care."

"I'm. Not. A. Plant," Severus growled and he tried to moved around Pomona to be a step, just one step closer to the blessed door.

"Really? And I thought he was a relative of the Devil's Snare..."

Severus stopped instantly and seized the moment: "You know, you do have a point, Rolanda: I may well be. I like the dark and damp. Good day, Pomona." Said that, he spun around and left the Staff Room, pretending not to notice the astonished gaze of Pomona. He was just happy having found a way out from that insane conversation and grateful to Hooch for giving him the right cue.

After the door had closed behind him, Pomona turned to Rolanda who was still sitting on the couch with her cup of tea in hand.

"Well, I tried" Pomona said.

Rolanda shrugged. "What did you expect? You know how he is, don't you? The next time we must try to make him identify himself with a Quaffle, though. That could turn out highly amusing". She smiled.

* * *

_Ok, I invented the _Contabesca learda_. _Contabescere_ in Latin means wasting away, wear out while _leardo_ is the Italian adjective for a grey (meaning with black and white hairs) horse._


	2. Of engaging discussions

_Very short dialogue between a second year Severus and his Transfiguration teacher._

* * *

**Of engaging discussions with a cat-like teacher**

"Mr. Snape!"

He heard Professor McGonagall calling him before he could leave the class. He turned slowly toward her with questioning eyes.

"May I have a word with you?", asked McGonagall. Her usual austere look lingered over her face, but there was a warmth in her feline eyes that Severus had never seen before. The boy nodded and walked slowly to the professor's desk. He stopped then, waiting, as he felt the eyes of his teacher to scrutinizing him. He just waited for her to speak first.

"Mr. Snape", McGonagall began at last, "if you find difficulties engaging discussions during classes, you can always come to my office after them. Throughout my career, I assure you, I've never eaten a student", she told him coldly.

Severus looked up at her, amazed. Truly, he had first believed that the teacher wished to undertake a conversation about _why_ he did not intervene any more during classes.

"Now you just don't stand there looking at me like that. I can see when certain behaviours are forced by others. But this does not mean that you and I can not discuss about Transfiguration in private. I do not think Potter and Black can prevent you from coming to my office", McGonagall explained then, noticing the flickering disbelief in her student's black eyes.

"Can I?" Severus asked.

"Of course, you can", the teacher retorted, slightly piqued. "You, Mr. Snape, appear to be one of the few students in this school with whom I would honestly like to start a debate". She smiled slightly when she saw the boy's eyes light up. "Waiting for you this evening at eight o'clock, Mr. Snape. And I do not accept delaying", she added then, spying the boy through her square glasses.


	3. On the matter of dormice

_Dealing with a class of Gryffindors and Slytherins is not a easy task. And if the teacher is a very young Severus Snape consequences could be... unexpected._

* * *

**On the matter of dormice**

"Ah Severus! Come in, come in!" The ringing voice of Albus Dumbledore welcomed him in the Headmaster's office.

Severus entered and closed the door behind. Then he approached the Headmaster's desk and stood there, hands tightly clasped behind his back.

"You asked for me, Headmaster", he said neutrally.

"Yes. In fact, I did", Dumbledore told him, sitting across the desk. "And do you know why?"

Severus took a deep breath. He knew very well why he was there. "McGonagall came crying on your shoulder because of the enormous injustice done to her Gryffindors." He answered.

"Severus, the Transfiguration is not a punishment lawfully applicable to students. You only recently began to teach here, but you've been a student and I am sure that you know this rule very well". Dumbledore said gently. That wasn't exactly how Severus had figured he would have reacted. He had in fact expected to be given a good telling off, yet the Headmaster seemed anything but angry. And that gave him the right to answer back.

"You have any idea of what kind of idiots I'm dealing with? _I_ was a student. These are not students, these are stupid kids who think they can behave like they did with Slughorn! And Gryffindors and Slytherins being in class together just add to their already low IQ a negative exponent", he hissed.

Dumbledore eyes darted at him from behind his half-moon spectacles. "Severus, this doesn't give you the right to transform an entire class of Snakes and Lions into dormice. Have you any idea how long it will take to catch them all?!"

"Not my liability, Headmaster", Severus shrugged. It was not his fault he had dunderheads for students, who passed their time trying to boycott each other's potion instead of trying to learn something.

Albus' voice became colder as he answered that statement. "Sorry to disappoint you, but it _is_ your liability, Severus. What do you think parents will say when they come to know that their children are running squealing around the castle?" Then he looked at Severus more gently. "Severus, I know the first months of teaching can be hard, but I would ask you to strain yourself and maybe try to teach them something..."

"Teach them something?" Severus interrupted him. "What do you think I do? Insert a notion in those empty boxes is like trying to print a book on a wall by headers! The only result is just one big hell of a headache!"

"And to transfigure that wall into a rodent makes the task easier?" Albus retorted. That boy's head was no less a hard wall.

The young teacher did not barked back this time. Dumbledore had hit the point.

"Understood, Headmaster. No transfiguration", he said, shaking his head slightly.

Dumbledore smiled. He knew the boy wouldn't try anything like that anymore. The students can be unnerving and Severus held little patience toward futility or towards those who didn't make any effort to learn. He could see why the boy was upset - and having to deal with a class of Slytherins and Gryffindors didn't help – but he could also see that Severus would try in any way not to displease him again. He also knew that the boy was still struggling to find his place among the Staff and that was why he was not going to take any disciplinary action against him.

"Good", he said, smiling fatherly. He stood up. "Now, better go help Minerva and Poppy to catch the students", he placed a hand on Severus shoulder accompanying him toward the door.

Severus smirk devilry. "Yes, before Mrs. Norris does..." he said under his breath.


End file.
